A Simple Touch in the Midst of Chaos

I slid my hand into his large, calloused hand. And wept.

I wept over the chaos in our lives, the turmoil within our congregation. I wept because he didn’t reject my hand. I wept for the hope and promise beget in that small gesture. “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” washed over me like a gentle summer rain. My voice quivered. More tears stained my face as the God-breathed prayer assured of forgiveness.

I’ve visited many churches and participated in many Christian activities where holding hands during a prayer is common. My husband has not. Our church does not. I respond to touch; I’m a hugger. My husband, Gary, not so much.

Chaos and overwhelming tasks have prevailed in our lives for quite some time. I desperately want to share with Gary the overwhelming love and peace I find in Jesus Christ. As iron sharpens iron, I long to dive into God’s word together. To challenge, to question, to absorb the scriptures together.

For several weeks now I’ve sat beside him in the church pew and prayed for the courage to reach over and take his hand in mine during the Lord’s Prayer. One small gesture that may lead him to feel God’s love as I do, to thirst God’s word as I thirst. Two weeks ago, I read the order of service in the bulletin, saw the familiar prayer, and began to pray for courage. I felt God’s assurance. I was determined this was the day. Then suddenly, with a tap on his shoulder, Gary stood to assist with the offering. After serving, he took a seat in the usher’s chair rather than returning to our pew—missed chance. My heart sank.

Sunday I repeated the prayer for courage as we sat down in the pew together. “Our Father who art in heaven”…I discreetly slid my hand over…“hallowed be thy name”…a second, more assertive nudge…“thy kingdom come”…and then he opened his hand to mine, our hands clasped together…“thy will be done”…my heart warmed. The tears fell.

At Bible Study this week, our women’s group discussed how the spirit of God hovered over the chaos and darkness before God commanded creation into being. God was present in that chaos. God is present in today’s chaos.

Just as God created the majestic heavens and earth out of chaos and darkness, God is creating something miraculous out of the chaos in our lives.

8 thoughts on “A Simple Touch in the Midst of Chaos

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  1. Monica, that is so beautiful. So raw, so open…. It really touched my heart as ken and I also struggle with the same. Thank you for sharing. The journey of a million miles has to begin with the first step. God bless!!!

    Love always,
    Holly

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful….I have struggled with the same and this morning at mass during the Lords Prayer my hubby reached over and took my hand for the first time…its like a lightning bolt from God that goes straight through your heart❤️
    My grandbabies are the reason for taking hands… They always take his hand… But they are usually between us… Thank you for sharing your beautiful God moment😇

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a precious vision of you & Tony holding hands with the grandbabies absorbing it all! Those little moments make huge impressions on them, oftentimes much more than we think! You have a beautiful family:) Thank you for such sweet words of support!

      Like

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